So this is going to be new territory for me. Granted I am a girl, but I’ve never been a girly girl and been a little nervous about this whole new adventure. With both Leighton and Caedmon we didn’t know what we were having until they arrived, and with Edric and Paxton there was a far greater need for families adopting boys and they were both needing families so there was no question. And honestly I thought we were done when we signed all those papers for Paxton. 4 boys. I kind of knew what to expect. It’s a little loud in our house and there are bad guys everywhere that must be conquered and most of our conversations center around ninjas, fire trucks, construction trucks, bugs, and legos. I had kind of figured that my grocery bill was going to be astronomical in the years to come and I think I’ve got more sand and dirt on my floor than is actually in the sandbox. Baths are not a optional thing each night, they are required and sometimes I just spray them down with the hose in the middle of the day just because we can’t wait for the night bath.
And boys are fairly simple. For Leighton’s birthday he had 5 boys from all different aspects of his life, none of which I think had met before and they all got along great and had a great time. There was no drama.
I’m a girl. I grew up a girl. I know the drama that comes with being a girl. I know how for some reason instead of banding together like the guys do, we seek to hurt and be mean to each other from an early age. As we grow older it just gets more disguised but it’s still there. And my heart breaks knowing that my little girl is going to have to go through all of that. Not to mention all the pressure that is put on her for looking nice, and being pretty and having her worth accessed long before she even gets to open her mouth and actually show herself for who she is.
I was talking with my friend Sandy a few weeks ago about all of this. And she very wisely said “I know you’ve been hurt by some women in your life, but maybe this is an opportunity for redemption of your story and your pain as you teach and train your daughter, maybe God is going to use this to help heal you.” It was something I had never really thought about but I think she might be on to something. What if girl-moms out there, we all seek to teach our daughters where true worth lies, that we are more than a certain size/hair color/brand of clothes/etc, that our beauty is not skin deep but comes from our hearts, we have far more to offer this world than our bodies, and to stop judging others because we are just doing that out of our own fears and insecurities. And as we seek to teach our girls, may we also speak those lessons back to ourselves and learn as well.
And so Coppelia Jiyun, as I wait to bring you home, I’m going to work on learning some lessons while I make hair bows and try and figure out how to do a little girls hair (because just using the clippers like I do for your brothers isn’t going to fly), and I’m going to pray for the words and wisdom to teach you the very lessons all of us need as well.