So I’m not real sure the last time I saw midnight on New Years Eve, I think it was 2011-2012 when I worked the overnight shift in the ER. I know, I’m such a party animal. I don’t always get it, sure another year has passed and chances to start over or start fresh or something like that. Reality is is that I’m still the same person I was yesterday. My brother got me a birthday card for my birthday earlier this week and showed a photo of a banana and then the same banana a day later and said something like “a day older only makes a difference if you are a banana”.
But I get it, a year is a marking in time and a chance to show change and mark another journey around the sun. And this past year has been filled with good things, we went sledding, cross country skiing, spent endless hours playing outside, brought our sweet son home finally from Korea, became chicken people to three neurotic chickens (who are also totally spoiled and currently spending their nights in the garage because I’m afraid it’s too cold outside for them), and have laughed and tickled a bunch. And there have been struggles as well, lots of emotions, lots of worry, lots of unknowns, lots of change to name a few. And this next year is going to have both as well.
And I get resolutions. Or whatever the “hip” thing is to call them nowadays. We all have areas in our lives that could use major or minor improvements. Maybe one of these years I will stop picking my nails and actually have finger nails. Maybe. But I do need to work on taking more deep breath before the rush of emotions hits and splashes all over everything. I could use a little more patience (not necessarily patients, I see plenty of them each shift I work). I need to grow in my trust, and let go of my worries, step out of my comfort zone and not be so self critical. Live more in the here and now, and spend more time learning and growing in Christ.
And we will all read a number of articles or hear reports on how writing down those goals/dreams/desires will help us make those more of a reality. Sharing with others helps as well. And so while I have a number of personal goals on this next trip around the sun, some are just too personal and far too unexciting to share here. I mean seriously no one really cares about my finger nails. And hopefully as I work on and grow in those other areas (many listed in the paragraph above) they will be displayed and lived out in my life, so you’ll see.
But I will share one here and let you journey along the way with me this year. I enjoy running, but can’t say I’ve ever been a real “runner”. Sure I usually do a ½ marathon each spring and a couple sprint tris each summer and will run a few days a week but running has never been something I’ve focused on. I’ve read a number of books recently about elite runners and it’s been inspiring. Granted I won’t ever hit their level, like when they talk about running a sub 4 minute mile….yeah not going to happen on these legs…I was happy with my sub 9 minute running from the coyote the other day. But running has been a release for me and something that I know I can grow in. And so I’m going to focus on running this year more so than I have in the past.
I found this journal recently and have just started reading through and I’m going to work on writing and recording my workouts and plans. I’ve also decided to do the Imogene Pass Run next fall in lieu of the two triathlons I usually do. It’s a 17 mile run from Ouray, Colorado to Telluride, Colorado, up and over Imogene Pass which means a 6000 foot gain in 10 miles. Which right now sounds and seems impossible. And so I’m going to work on it one step at a time and slowly make that goal a reality. I’ll blog here along the way. I’m still an active mom and so my training time is limited but step by step I plan on climbing that mountain and crossing that finish line.
And the steps are small, it means going to bed earlier so I can get up and go run laps at the rec center before the little monkeys get up. It means throwing on layers and going for runs outside when its 15 degrees. It means running hills. By the way have I mentioned how much I love my bed at 5:30 in the morning? Or how much I hate the cold (I’m pretty much a popsicle from October till March), or that I’ve never liked hills? Like at all? And lets not even mention altitude…I’m kind of a big fan of oxygen.
But there are lots of excuses and reasons why I can’t do this. And that’s ok. I’m going to be the reason why I can. One step and one run and one silly hill at a time.
And maybe just maybe this will help me meet some of those other goals. My emotions are always calmer when I’m getting regular exercise. I can go to bed earlier if I put the silly phone away and focus on the here and now and not everywhere and everything else. As the paths stretch out before me and it’s just my feet hitting the ground, I’ve yet to find a better self reflective or prayer time. And learning to look at what I am accomplishing and not focus on what I’m not will only help stretch me out of that self critical mindset I often get caught up in.
By no means do I think that this race or that running is the answer to everything and going to fix everything. Christ has my heart and He’s working on that and shaping that, but this is just a chance to literally put some legs on some goals and dreams and watch them grow.