Attachment and Holidays
I was pretty sure that the holidays might throw Edric for a loop and it did. I don’t think I anticipated the extent of the setbacks that we saw, but I’m glad I had read other blogs talking about stresses and changes for little ones recently home can be really tough. We were at least aware and had planned pretty well. We asked Clint’s parents to stay in a hotel because we didn’t know what Edric would need and that was clearly the best decision that we made.
He was very tearful and clingy the first couple of days. He came to Clint and I for comfort often. He also started not chewing his food and spitting it out. It was hard to see his little heart hurting and searching so much. I think there was a big part of him that wondered if someone was going to take him away again. He often just buried his little head in our shoulders and would hide from everything around. He also started hitting the other two boys again.
We had asked our families to keep Christmas presents to a minimum (we said 1-2 gifts only) and they did a great job of abiding by our requests which was huge and kept things from becoming more overwhelming than they already were. Edric did a little better by the end of the week but needed to have Clint or myself at his side almost constantly. In many ways I think it helped build some of the bond that we have with our constant attention and reassurance and hugs and holding and putting him in the carrier when he needed it. It helped reinforce that we are safe people and he is safe here with us and going to be here forever.
His fear and grief still break my heart, but even with the setbacks we are seeing improvement and steps forward each day.