We knew it would come. It’s kind of one of those things that had to come at some point. Especially since feeding/clothing/caring for a family of 5 requires the little thing that is kind of important in day to day living….aka a paycheck. And so I’ll start back to work tonight (nothing like starting back on night shifts huh?).
A few people have asked me how I feel about going back to work. I can’t really say I have feelings one way or another. I enjoy work (as crazy as that sounds) and work with an amazing group of people doing and caring for people in some of their most vulnerable times. It’s not easy in any sense of the word and it’s emotionally and physically exhausting but I really like it. I love being home and being mom too. But that is also emotionally and physically exhausting. And with the shift work that I do, I get to be home a ton and get to be mom and really don’t miss out on that much since the boys often sleep for part or all of my shift. It does make it tough the next day when I’m beat, but it’s a small price to pay.
We are settling in. A few steps forward and a few back each and every day. Edric has had more emotions this week, and they have been on the strong end. Some of it seems to be typical 2 year old behavior with getting upset and throwing fits when he doesn’t get his way, and others more grief/adoption related with tears and grief. He has wanted to be rocked most afternoons this week at nap time. As he snuggles in and I rock him sitting on the floor in his room I have become truly grateful for those times as I never got to rock him when he was smaller.
We had our first snowfall of the season this week and I think Edric was totally blown away by the snow, I’m not sure he has seen it before. The boys were all dressed in their snow suits by 8AM after breakfast and they couldn’t wait to get outside. Leighton said “I am so excited to go and shovel the snow” to which Clint said “that’s what I’m saying too buddy.” I think only one of them was actually that excited. The boys and Clint built a couple of snowmen too and then in the afternoon when it warmed up some we went back out and played some more even though a lot had melted in the backyard (thanks to facing the south).
Communication is hard. He was behind in his Korean and so the transition over is also a struggle. He has picked up some signs and just in the past week or so starting to say a few more words. We had to laugh the other night when we were finishing dinner and Edric pushed his plate back and pointed at the cupboard where we have been keeping the Halloween candy and said “Candy”. He’s clearly picked up that word.
And so we’ll adjust to work and the changes that will bring and keep plugging along.