We passed a month home on Friday! It is crazy to think that we have been living in this new craziness for a month now. And we look back and see where we have come and how many strides have been made. It’s much easier doing that than looking forward and seeing the miles we still have to go. And if we do look forward to the miles and hills ahead, then we just have to remember and remind ourselves that we will be that much further down this road in a month. And with each passing day.
Leighton went to my parents house over the weekend and had a blast. So that just left us the two little guys. Saturday morning we loaded two up in the double stroller and went for a run. Or rather I ran and Clint pushed the heavy load. I told him, “think of it as a gift, I run 4-5 times a week, and you only run once, and so by pushing the double stroller you are getting at least 2 workouts in 1, so you’re welcome”. I’m not so sure he saw it as much of a gift. After the run we headed to a neighbor’s 2 year old birthday party. This was really our first outing with Edric to someone’s house where there would be other people. They had a toy room set up and he went to town playing in there and with Caedmon. He looked back frequently for Clint and I and I hovered a lot, but he did really well. And as a party gift our neighbor sewed “book worms” for each of the little guests so we came home with a few book worms and Edric has attached and sleeps with his new worm all the time.
After the party and nap time we decided to brave another first. Going to a store. We needed more food for the chickens (two of which have declared an egg laying strike for some unknown reason, one has an excuse with the hawk but that was 2 weeks ago already…), some home improvement things and Target. I’m sure we had a list for Target but I don’t think one can walk out of there without 5xs what was on the list anyway. Of the stops Home Depot was clearly the highlight. Or rather the car cart at Home Depot was the highlight. I think that is a little boy’s dream.
It was pushing or rather past dinner by the time our errands were done. We ended up stopping at Tokyo Joes for rice/noodle bowls for everyone. It was a good reminder why dining with toddlers outside the home is on the list of “Ways To Torture Adults”. It wasn’t terrible and I think I tasted a bit of my food but I think all toddlers should come with a set of octopus arms for the adults they live with to wear at all times.
Sunday we decided to brave church again. And even though we were down a child I still consider it a victory that we made it to church all dressed and not wearing yoga pants or snow boots (Caedmon’s footwear of choice this week- usually with a pair of shorts and socks pulled up above the tops of the boots). As I had Edric secured to my back in the carrier during worship I had tears as I remembered the Sundays that I stood in worship longing for him to be home and my heart missing him. I don’t know if there was a Sunday during the wait that I made it through worship without tears streaming down, and yet yesterday he was there with me. God is Faithful. During the message he sat between or on one of our laps and we fed him apple slices continuously which seemed to work. He played some with the toys and puppets I had packed but he was primarily focused on the apples. He would sign “more” and occasionally “please” to me for his next slice.
After church we headed up to my parents for lunch and to pick up Leighton. They have a big yard and more importantly this time of year they have big trees with leaves. We all had fun jumping in the big piles of leaves and throwing them and chasing each other around the yard. It made me long for a bigger yard…someday. Sometimes you just want to bottle up times and moments and hold on to them forever, Sunday afternoon was one of those times.
All too soon the afternoon ended and we headed home for Leighton to head to a friend’s birthday party and the little guys and I hung out and spent the evening together. We went for a walk around the block, ate dinner and played various versions of chase. Caedmon would say “Ok mommy, pretend you are the fire truck and I’m the fire and the fire chases the fire truck”. So we’d run around the yard with him chasing me. And then after that he’d say “Ok mommy, now pretend you are the fire alarm and I am the fire and the fires chases the fire alarm”. This went on for a number of rounds and ultimately it ended with Caedmon chasing mommy. It was obvious Sunday evening that all the new things had overwhelmed Edric a little much. And so I’m learning and figuring out what I need to do to help re-ground him and re-center him and help him process all that he is experiencing. Nevertheless it was a blessed day
Monday morning we did family photos including a number in super hero capes because that’s just how we roll with three boys. (as if there is any other way to roll). I’m hoping between an over excited 2 year old, and a grumpy 3 year old we got a few good photos (I know we did, our photographer is amazing and so patient). Looking forward to seeing how they turn out.
And so we are plugging along, learning, growing, and collapsing on the couch exhausted each night. Providing and establishing boundaries for a 2 year old who has never had any, working though language barriers, and grief is not for the faint of heart. Throw in a 6 year old and a 3 year old and just the day to day life stuff and it feels a bit crazy sometimes. I am constantly reminded how much of this I can do on my own (pretty much none of it) and growing and learning and trusting the One who is above all and gets me through each day.