And Today I Had to Say Good-Bye….
I knew today was going to be tough. And it was. And I know people say, “but you will get to bring him home in 3-7 weeks, so its not that much longer” but really after meeting him and letting that love that has been in my heart just blossom and seeing his smile light up his eyes and his giggles fill the air and hold him close and give him hugs, to have to put that all on hold for another number of weeks is just cruel and not right.
Clint actually saw Edric first, I was upstairs taking photos of another friend’s meeting and left that meeting early to come down stairs and Clint told me that foster mom and Edric had been in but didn’t know where they went. He stepped away to grab his stuff from the other room and foster mom and Edric came back and so we went into the office area to play and wait for a room to open up. We went upstairs and the room was still occupied and so we played a bit in the hallway and initially he would only stay with foster mom but within a few minutes he and I were jumping up the stairs and he let me pick him up to look out the window.
The room that we ended up in for our “play time” was not really a play room at all, there was a glass and wood coffee table and a bit regular table and two couches and not many toys. But we did what we could with what we had. Shortly after we brought out the bubbles and started playing I could see social work motion to foster mom out of the corner of my eyes. I quickly caught on that they were planning on sneaking out. Once they did it didn’t take but a few seconds for Edric to figure out that foster mom was gone and he cried and cried and cried. I carried him around and tried to get him to play with something and he just put any toy I offered him back in the bag and kept crying. I held him close during that time and I could just feel his little heart beating so fast. Our social worker came back in and foster mom came too. Eric ran to foster mom and buried his face in her shoulder. She was crying by this point and so was I. It was a good picture into the future of what custody time is likely going to look like.
After everyone’s eyes were dry again we started playing. We played some “push daddy over” which really got him laughing again, and also with the balloons. Our social worker found a book that played little songs and Edric love to dance to the songs. Well, not sure one could call it dancing, it was more of a flapping of his arms up and down a lot. And so Clint and I “danced” along with the music too. At one point Edric took off his shoes and socks and then looked over at my feet and demanded that I do the same.
At one point foster mom asked how old Leighton and Caedmon were, and I tried to tell her, but finally pulled out my phone and showed her photos of both boys and told their ages. Eric grabbed my phone and saw the photo and started kissing the phone in order to give the boys kisses. It was really sweet and he seemed to recognize who they were.
Long before I was ready to be done (but long after I had sweated through all my clothes and wondered what happened to the AC), the meeting came to a close. We got a photo with foster mom and us all together. Edric let me carry him down the stairs and give him a big hug by the door. I had tears flowing again by that point. He gave us both kisses again and then was gone. It was hard to see him go and even telling myself that its not that long didn’t really help this mommy heart.
As far as the rest of the day, this AM we went for a good run along the river and then “worked out” at the gym that is built under the bridges along the way. There were some funny equipment there and I’m sure I made a fool of myself but it was too much to pass up. Before our meeting with Edric we had a meeting at the Agency, Eastern Social Welfare Society, and Dr Kim the president talked with us for awhile. We then ate lunch and I got to meet a few other families that I didn’t already know.
After our meeting we met up with 5 other families and went to an amazing Korean BBQ restaurant. It was a little hard to find and I’m sure people walk by not even knowing it is there, but another adoptive friend went there last night and told a couple of us about it and so armed with google maps and a couple of photos from her dinner we actually found the needle in the haystack. Amazingly good food.
And tomorrow is court. I”m a bit nervous about that. Hoping that it goes well.